Happy Monday, everybody! As the toughest work day of the week winds down, we thought we’d give you a bit of a laugh as a reward for making it through.

29% of workers admit to playing hooky from their place of employment this year (although I suspect the real percentage is much higher). The procedure is simple: one, call your boss, two, say you’re not feeling well, three, take the day off. Easy as pie, right? Not for everybody, apparently. Check out these wacky (not to mention phony) excuses for missing work:


1) “My 12-year-old daughter stole my car and I have no other way to work…no, I don’t want to call the police.”

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2) “Bats got in my hair!!!”

3) “A refrigerator fell on top of me.”

4) “I was in line at a coffee shop when a truck backed up and dumped a truckload of flour in my convertible!”

5) “A deer bit me on my hunting trip.”

6) “I ate too much at a party…”

7) “I fell out of bed and broke my nose.”

8) “I got a cold from a puppy.”

9) “My kid stuck a mint up his nose and I had to take him to the ER to remove it.”

10) “I hurt my back chasing a beaver.”

11) “I got my toe caught in a vent cover.”

12) “I have a headache from going to too many garage sales.”

13) “My brother was kidnapped by a drug cartel in Mexico!”

14) “I drank anti-freeze by mistake.”

15) “A bucket of water crashed through the ceiling and hit my head while I was bowling.”

16) “My false teeth flew out my car window on the highway!”

17) “Someone glued my doors and windows shut so I can’t leave my house!”

18) “A swarm of bees is surrounding my car…of course I can’t get into it!”

19) “I received a threatening phone call from my electric company and I need to report it to the FBI.”

20) “I got lost and ended up in another state.”


Unbelievable? I guarantee their bosses feel the same.



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